Bjorning

Baby wearing. That is where it's at! Nothing like strapping on your child and heading out into the world. There are so many benefits to wearing your child: the warmth and snuggles,


the glassy eyed looks of hot mom's checking you out (OK, I know they are checking Mason out, but I take what I can get). There is also the great feeling of losing 17lbs. every time you take off the harness. It makes you feel like "The Biggest Loser."

So, for dad and mom, wearing Mason is the best way to travel. I am not so sure Mason shares our sentiments. First of all, there are the multiple clips, straps, and buckles that must be manuvered into place to assure he stays secured to the parent. This takes several minutes of wiggling and cinching. While Mason is usually a good sport for all these safety checks, I am sure it is not his favorite thing.

Another complaint (though he has never really said anything regarding this) is the view. About 90% of the time Mason is being "worn" the scenery is as follows:


The other 10% of the time is filled with leering strangers, bright lights, and horrific shots of this guy.


Finally, after all the buckling, cinching, leering, bouncing and chafing, Mason falls into a peaceful slumber. Moments later, he is being jostled once again as he makes his way back to the icy carseat. He gives me the stink eye, and, since he is unable to verbalize his aggrevation, he farts!

What Goes Down...

Jen has taken to the malls. I guess this is what SAHMs do all day. Go to malls, feed babies, enjoy the scenic view of Winnebagos roaming the prarie...

A recent visit to the mall procured this delightful video. Enjoy.

B.O. (Blanket Ode)

I love my snuggly blanket.
It keeps me safe and warm.
I like to sleep inside with it,
When, outside, there are storms.

It is so soft and furry.
Feels good upon my skin.
Especially when I'm naked
And it's all I'm sleeping in.

I snuggle in my mommy's lap.
I snuggle on the couch.
I snuggle in my blanket,
While Onyx holds me in his mouth.


I love my snuggly blanket.
I hope to see you soon.
To snuggle up with my blanket,
And snuggle up to you.

The Big Brown Lawn sees some action, up close and a little too personal!

So who says stay at home moms have a boring life????

Read on!

Yesterday (Jan.10th) I was on the couch feeding Mason when I heard some howling outside. It seemed like a different howl than Onyx's, but seemed to be close, so I checked outside to see if he was hurt. It ended up just being the dog across the street. Onyx was not out front, so I went to see where he was hanging. He was lounging in the side yard in the sun. All was well, so I went back to my oatmeal and Mason went back to his milk.

Moments later, I heard a helicopter and police sirens...ah something going down in "'da heights". Didn't think much of it until the house began to rumble. Now I have felt our 70+ year old, raised foundation house rumble before, but that is usually when the washer is a bit off-balanced, or Josh decides to "test" the "shaky spots" of the floor. This rumbling was sounding and feeling like that helicopter was right on top of us. The curtains were closed so I pulled one back to peek out front. As I glanced out, I saw a motor home slam through our front fence pulling it out into the middle of mild-mannered Leonard Ave. A police car followed and I was so shocked and confused. Why did they just run through our yard, were they drunk or something? They would have had to have really slammed through the fence to be dragging it out into the street behind them.

My first instinct was to jump up and lock the door. Then I thought, oh no, Onyx! As I thought of him he thought of me and came running in as if to tell me, "Come quick, you've gotta see this!" I raced him to the back door to close his dog door and then there was a knock on the front door. It was our neighbor, Julie and her mom warning me that I might want to bring Onyx in. I told her I already had him and she left to see what was up. I waited inside with Mason and watched as the neighbors poured from their houses in pajamas and robes. They were talking outside and pointing at the backyard. I went to the bedroom and looked out to see the backyard fence down. That's when it became clear, "Oh my gosh they drove right through the side yard!"

That rumbling was the motorhome driving by, not the helicopter.

We waited inside to see the police officer get out of his car a couple of houses down stomping up and down as the guy got away and his tire was torn from the fence (Josh and I imagine he will be greeted back at the station with cans of fix-a-flat and a "Nice Work POP-PY" banner hanging in the doorway). I eventually went out to learn that the man driving the RV had made it all the way to the river and was now swimming in it. BRRRRRRRRR!

The day continued on with the man getting caught; officers, neighbors, Onyx, Mason, and I walking the property to survey the damages;

photos were taken, and Channel 13 news knocked on our door for Mason's first television interview.


"We've been looking for your fence all morning," the reporter said.

That's right folks, at just three months, Mason would be on TV at five o'clock that evening. Since he hasn't quite figured out the English language I handled the speaking parts of the interview. I was looking completely glamorous of course, no shower, crazy hair, Josh's sweatshirt (thrown on as I got Onyx's leash to hide the grubby T-shirt I had been in all morning). Luckily they chopped down my rambling to a short tid-bit to add to their story.

I actually haven't seen this bit yet. We don't have cable and I don't usually watch the news, so our cousin Tivo-ed it for us. We were hoping to catch it on the Channel 13 website, but they only posted this noon news report.

CBS 13 News

KCRA 3 News

Family and friends, however, saw it and were more than flattering about my appearence.

Josh imagines the whole thing to be a little on the trashy side and prefers to imitate me as... breastfeeding mother talkin' 'bout that police chase that just slammed through her yard. I laughed at it all because it just hadn't quite sunk in yet. I was more that grateful that we were safe, the house was safe, and all that was lost was our not so good looking chain link fence. We've talked about one day changing it, we just weren't expecting that day to be so soon.


Onyx is depressed...his free reign of the yard smashed to a streched pile of chain and bent poles. Today the annoying side of it all arrived. Calls to insurance folk, contractors, and the police department all to find out that the waiting game has begun. The silver lining...I will be getting my exercise as I walk Onyx many times a day with Mason in the Baby Bjorn. Good thing we will be having record breaking low temperatures tomorrow. Sarcasm. Sarcasm. I think we need to invent the indoor dog park. They have indoor soccer, where's the indoor dog park? Good in the hot summer, and cold winter. There it is a great idea...if you steal it from me and make millions just be sure to send us $1,000 of it to cover our deductible.

Happy Due Day, Mason!

Today at parent-teacher conferences I was told...
...I don't give enough homework.
...I give too much homework.
...the text books are horrible.
...I speak good Spanish (they were being very kind. I conjugated at least all the verbs incorrectly).
...I am providing a vehicle (knitting) for a woman's son to turn gay.


But enough about my work. You came to hear about Mason (one of my students, the gay one, asked me, "Why is Mason so famous?" I guess he just has that "jue-no-say-quah"). Today was Mason's Due Day. He is now well over 9lbs. Jen sure dodged a bullet there. I can't imagine how red her face would have turned trying to fire out this:


Ok, I guess seeing the dog exiting the birth canal would have been a real shock. Still, there are worse cases. Take, for example, the student in my class whose mother just cranked out baby number 5. It was a girl. A twelve pound girl! Now that is something to talk about! Discuss.

In other news, Mason has once again made waves to impress all the "How-de-doo-dats" out there. His tricks, sorry, illusions, are feats of infant strength and skill. Today, it was The Amazing Head Lift. Where many have tried and failed, Mason rocks the house!


Boohyah! Happy Due Day, Mason!

HOUDINI

Mason has developed this incredible talent for quickly and effectively escaping from his swaddling blankets. He has moves to obfuscate the mind of Harry himself! I know, I know... you're child can do this too. All I can say is, "Does your child do it with a face melting soundtrack?!No?!

Well, here he is, Mason Jonah, with 80's pop sensation, Europe!

A Mom's Life

Looking after a newborn is hard work. Just ask Jen.

I returned to work a week after Mason was born. Back to school. Back to life. Work is work.

Jen has been keeping up her home routine with Mason. Those of you who have newborn experience know the drill... wake... change... feed... sleep... wake... change... feed... sleep... wake... change... feed... sleep... wake... change... feed... feed... feed... feed...

This is the routine. This is a mom's life. In a recent email to a friend, Jen wrote about the exciting events of her day:

"I just woke up from a huge nap. Mason and I got up and drove Josh [to a conference] this morning because parking is crazy downtown. Then we headed back home and hung out with Onyx and ate. Then totally crashed. He is still out so I get to take a shower and chat with you. I know this isn't an exciting story, simply a recap of an uneventful morning, but I felt the need to talk to you. It is funny, I always tell my students to share something about their weekend or whatever that was a highlight, not just the normal stuff such as waking up and eating breakfast...blah blah boring."

Jen's "normal stuff" might not be glamorous, and it might not make a great Hallmark movie, but I am and will be forever grateful for the time that she is giving to our child, our family. When we look back on these months, so many years from now, so many more feedings from now, it will be the "normal stuff" we will miss the most. The quiet feedings and the hours when time seemed to stand still and the world revolved around our new family.

Thank-you Jen.



Oh, and if you have a moment, drop Jen a note. She would love to hear about your "normal stuff."

Gettin' My Bath On

Well, technically this is his second bath, and the quality of the video is kinda poor because I shot it on my still camera; however, it is in fact Mason, and he is indeed wet. So, what do you want. Besides, I took a whole bunch of time to put this together, and, while I know I am no Scorsese, I think it works. Enjoy!

Oh, yeah. I edited the footage so as to keep the PG-13 rating. If you would like to see the "uncut" reels, you will have to come over for a visit.

Pumpkin Thief

So, I walked out onto our porch last night to discover that one of the three pumpkins from our trip to the pumpkin patch was missing. As I scanned the lawn to investigate this caper, I discovered the thief hiding with his prize among the weeds.

Great Pumpkins!

Fall. A time for leaves. A time for soup. A time for burning out the dust in your furnace. A time for extra-hot, tall, two-pump, vanilla, nonfat lattes. A time for babies and pumpkins!

I know this is late, but need I repeat myself about time well spent? Halloween came and went and left many of you to wonder about Mason's inaugural holiday.

It went something like this:

Having Grandma Strong in town for the week provided an ideal opportunity for our family to have our Pumpkin Portrait taken since we now had our own personal photographer in tow. So many times Jen and I are on our own to try and get a family photo. This usually means taking two separate pictures and Photoshoping them into one, or getting a passer-by to take a picture which inevitably becomes a shot of disembodied heads floating in the vast blue sky.

So, after feeding Mason, and starting the 3 hour baby-travel timer, we dressed Mason in his Halloween garb, packed the diaper bag and stroller, loaded everything into the car, and drove the 2 minutes to the Pumpkin Patch.

Once there, we were immediately bombarded by the swirling dust storms of the parking lot as holiday fiends raced to have one last glimpse of the Haunted Barn, Trampoline House, and the guy who has nothing better to do than stand around and scare little kids. Finally, we made it to the patch, and I scoped out fantastically spooky old tree as a backdrop for our family photo. I took a few test photos just to check framing. When we were all set and ready to document this historic moment, an entire hay ride full of ghoulish families invaded the scene, kicking up dust and cluttering up our photo. So, to avoid being trampled, we abandoned this setting and set off to find another location.

After pausing for a moment to take a break from the heat of El Nino (as Chelsa made so perfectly clear, Sacramento Halloweens do seem more like summer holidays), we took a long walk to the dregs of the pumpkin patch.

Mama Ray finds an ironic, green tree to shade little Mason from the ironic, fall sun.

Papa Ray and Mason have a pattern war. Mason is the victor!

It was here, amongst the decaying corpses of the pumpkins that time forgot, we were able to have the peace we needed to get on with our picture taking.

Click!

Fall. A time for family. A time for loved ones. A time for snuggling. A time for trekking back to the car through the hordes of screaming kids, dirty farm animals and dusty parking lot to travel back home and spend the next several hours wiping down the stroller. I love Fall!

Ok, Fine...I'm Back!

Well, here it is! The blog you have all been waiting for. I know it has been some time since I posted my last entry. Well, excuse me for wanting to spend some time with my family, and not giving all of you out there a play-by-play of my private life. Geez! As if all I have to do is sit here at the dining room table and type all this blah-blah-blog for you all to gush over!

Ok, with that off my chest, how are you? We have been doing just swell. Our little trio +K9 has been working to get into some form of a routine. Man, babies are needy!


Mason's First Visit to Starbucks

We have been making an effort to get out from time to time. Between feedings, we have a 3 hour window in which to make our outings. Timing is crucial for a successful "out-of-home" event.

The entire outing usually follows this pattern:
- Secure child in safety seat
- Cover child with various child insulation items
- Fill diaper bag with necessary accoutrements
- Sift through piles of crap to find car keys
- Relocate all said items to car
- Get in car
- Realize you forgot to pack extra "onesie" for potential explosive, onesie-soiling episode
- Get out of car
- Retrieve extra onesie
- Get Greenie for jealous dog
- Get back into car
- Drive around the block
- Return home for next feeding


Mason and Josh Order Breakfast

Edible Complex

Mason was born on October 14th, about 5 weeks early. This was not really a problem other than the fact that our baby shower was scheduled for October 21st. Both Jen and I feel that little Mason heard about the party and, not wanting to be left out, made plans to be there in person.

About 3 days before the shower, my cousin called and asked me to email her my favorite picture of Mason. First of all, how hard is that?! Finding my favorite picture. I only have about 80 or 90 favorites of the 80 to 90 pictures I have taken so far. Well, I narrowed it down to a couple, flipped a coin and ended up with this one:
Fast forward three days. The day of the shower. We walked into my cousin's house to find the room filled with friends and family. It was nice to get together with some adults and have some conversations about adult things...you know...like babies.

On the table was a cake (there is always a cake), and on the cake was the winner of the coin toss. It was so cute and sweet (pun intended).
The baby shower played out as expected: conversations about the baby, presents for the baby, spinach dip and carbs! It was then time for cake. We all gathered around as Ariana, our hostess, began making slices through my son's face on the cake. Don't get me wrong, the cake was great, but there is something about watching your newborn child being sliced into little cubes that is somewhat unnerving.
The Masonic Cubes were served to the hungry guests, and Jen and I watched as these little cubes were devoured by our family and friends.

There are some cultures where canniblalism is the highest form of honor. To be eaten by loved ones ensures you will live on as a part of them for years to come. There is also the old saying "You are what you eat." In that case, Mason will be a part of me forever, and I will continue to be a little bit "snotty."

Some Changes

So, I made a few changes to the site. Let me know what you think.

Also, I think I fixed the video. Scroll down and try it again.

Woah...look at the time!

G-night!

Baby Phantoms

Jen, Mason, and I got to bed last night around 11:30. While I love being with my son, it is nice to get that much needed rest! So, with Mason snuggly swaddled in his crib, and Jen and I nestled in our bed, we all drifted off to slumberland... for a bit.

At 1:30am, Jen woke me in a panic!

"The baby!" she said. "I can't find him."

Jen was rooting around in our bed and despratly grabbing at the sheets.

"The baby?" I asked puzzled. It was dark, and I was pretty sure he was not in the bed, but I couldn't be sure with my sleep daze still washed over me.

"I brought him here to be with us, but now I can't get him. It's hard to know which is the sheet and which is him." Jen was really grabbing at the covers now and trying to get ahold of Mason.

I got up to check the crib. There was Mason, sound asleep and dreaming of milk and poopies.

I returned to bed. "He is still in his crib. He's not here," I assured Jen.

"Oh, he's not?" Jen sounded exhausted from the pawing of the bed. "Oh, ah...I though he was here. I jusssss..."

She was alseep.

I drifted back to sleep and settled into a very satisfiying dream sequence (it was a great adventure dream... I love those!). Jen woke me up with alarming news.

"The baby! I can't find his head! He's here, but I can't find his head!"

The panic in her voice promped me to franticly scan the darkness of our bed. Jen had our son in her arms and was patting him down, as if fluffing a pillow... wait a minute! It was a pillow in her arms!

When we both calmed down a bit, we broke into a great hearty laugh. We had officially had our first "loopy parent" moment. The kind of stories that we will pass down to our children so they can tease and taunt us!

Jen got up and fed the baby.

As for me, I had an adventure to continue!

Look, Ma! My Hands!

So, little Mason found his thumbs last night. I think he is in love!

Beast Friends

Here lie Mason and Onyx. May they (and their parents) rest in peace! Please, please rest...we need to rest too! Onyx! Leave it! Hey, give me back that keyboaallkjalnnbbbv,bn,s.v...

Friendly Fire

Saturday, October 14 - At 6:34am Nurse Peggy draws friendly fire from Mason as she places him on the scale to be weighed.

Monday, October 16 - At 4:55pm a nursing assistant takes it in the face as she prepares him for discharge. There were no injuries other than the nurse's pride.

Tuesday, October 17 - At 12:30pm Mason takes aim at his father. The stream grazes Josh's shoulder, but he is otherwise unharmed.

When will Mason strike again? Experts are unsure. There does not seem to be a pattern to these crimes, but chances are, he will strike again...and when he does, I will be ready!

So, here's the whole story...

Warning: This is a narrative version of the story. If you would like the Cliff Notes version, check the previous post.

The wedding party was in town, and wedding happenings were in full force. Weston, my brother, and Adrienne, his fiance, were to be married on Saturday. Friday night, Gran called me and asked if I would bring over the inflatable bundle of bed. I agreed, reluctantly. I was already snuggled into my home and ready for a restful evening. You know how it is.

Anyway, I took the bundle of bed to Gran leaving Jen to rest in slumber on the couch. I visited with Gran for about an hour or so. After my visit, I returned home at about 12:30ish to find Jen on the computer replying to an email from a friend who had sent a list of "things to get before you have a baby." After finishing her email, we hit the sack.

At 2:30, Jen woke me up to "come look at something." I was assuming it was the mouse that has been ransacking our pantry for the past week, but that was not her concern. It seemed that her "bag-of-fluids" had ruptured. I called the hospital and explained to them what I was looking at. I said that the mouse was a bit bigger than the last mouse we found and...wait, no that is not what I told them. I actually don't really remember the conversation. I remember...I remember feeling a bit nuts. We had no bags packed, no baby stuff, nothing! I ran through the house for about the next 20 minutes gathering things we would need for our trip to the hospital.

When I finally looked at what I had gathered, all I had were the toothbrushes. So, with toothbrushes in tow, Jen and I got into the car at 3:30am. Jen had her first contraction as she waited for me to unlock the car door. Into the car went Jen, and off we went!

On the way to the hospital, we had one last name conversation figuring that we only had a few hours to make a decision. How right we were!


We pulled into South Sacramento Kaiser Hospital at about 4:00am. Jen and I walked into the hospital and up to the 2nd floor. When we got to Labor and Delivery, there were 7 people ahead of us. Jen took priority due to the "water-bag" thing. I was taken to the admitting nurse to give her the needed information while Jen was escorted to her womb room.

I was in with the admitting nurse for about 20 minutes and joined Jen the room at 4:30am. For the next 45 minutes, Jen and I breathed, panted, moaned, and did all the things they told us to do to get a head rush to make you forget about the pain. Well, it worked for me (head rush was great!), but Jen was feeling pretty uncomfortable.

Finally, at 5:15am, Nurse Peggy and Dr. Sheppard exploded into the room (Ok, they just walked, but I am trying to create some tension...feeling tense? I was, and so was Jen's uterus!). So, the medical staff were in the room. Jen was finishing off a particularlly tasty contration, and Dr. Sheppard did a quick exam.

"Wow! She's ready. You're ready to push, Jen!" said Dr. Sheppard.
"I'm not feeling ready," replied Jen.
"Hunny, you want to do this," interjected Nurse Peggy. "That's what you're here for!"

I just kept breathing and keeping up the head rush.

Jen began pushing at 5:30am. She is so kind to let me believe that I was such a great help. I counted during pushing, breathed with her through contractions, and made motivatioal mini-speeches like, "You can do it!" and "Go, go, go!" and "What the heck?!" I thought they were pretty convincing, and I am very fluent at counting to 10, but really, it was all Jen!

Well, I was running out of mini-speeches and was just about to start recycling them, when Mason's head became visible.

Jen hunkered down for one more push.

At 6:02, Mason was born. Jen and I both fell into tears as they placed him on her chest. I knew this would be an exciting moment, but I was overwhelmed with the emotions washing over me. I am not a good enough writer to describe the feelings of those first moments with my family. What I can say is this: All happiness in my life will be measured against that moment. The moment I first met my son.

The Cliff Notes Version

Friday, October 13, 2006
7:00pm - Jen and Josh go for a hunk of meat at the Outback
8:30pm - Jen and Josh relax on the couch to watch the Netflix movie they have had for over 3 months
10:00pm - Gran calls and asks Josh to bring over the Aerobed for wedding guests

Saturday, October 14, 2006
12:30am - Josh returns from Gran's to find Jen answering emails from Jeanne
1:00am - Jen and Josh slumber
2:30am - Jen wakes up Josh to "come look at something"
2:30am - Jen's "bag-of-fluids" ruptures
2:30am - Josh begins to freak out...just a little
3:30am - Jen and Josh get into the car and Jen has her first contraction
3:50am - Jen and Josh agree on a name for their son
4:00am - Jen and Josh arrive at the hospital
4:30am - Jen labors in her room at the hospital
5:15am - Nurse Peggy and Dr. Sheppard enter the room
5:20am - Dr. Sheppard examines Jen and declares that she is fully dialated
5:30am - Jen begins to push
6:02am - Mason Jonah is born
6:02am - Josh and Jen begin to freak out...just a little

Peggy

Peggy is from Louisiana. Peggy was only engaged for 45 days before she was married. Peggy married a king. Peggy is a nurse. She was our nurse for delivery. It was said about Peggy, "People love her or can't stand her." WE LOVED PEGGY! At one point during Jen's labor, Jen rammed her leg up on the doctors sterile table. The doctor grew concerned that the sterile table was being compromised with the invasion of Jen's foot. Peggy simply said, "It's her foot! She can get it up in her stuff if she likes!" With her sassy commentary, moves of a pro, and southern appeal, Peggy made our stay in Labor and Delivery most memorable! Well, Peggy and the new baby boy!