Wednesday, January 17, 2007


Baby wearing. That is where it's at! Nothing like strapping on your child and heading out into the world. There are so many benefits to wearing your child: the warmth and snuggles,

the glassy eyed looks of hot mom's checking you out (OK, I know they are checking Mason out, but I take what I can get). There is also the great feeling of losing 17lbs. every time you take off the harness. It makes you feel like "The Biggest Loser."

So, for dad and mom, wearing Mason is the best way to travel. I am not so sure Mason shares our sentiments. First of all, there are the multiple clips, straps, and buckles that must be manuvered into place to assure he stays secured to the parent. This takes several minutes of wiggling and cinching. While Mason is usually a good sport for all these safety checks, I am sure it is not his favorite thing.

Another complaint (though he has never really said anything regarding this) is the view. About 90% of the time Mason is being "worn" the scenery is as follows:

The other 10% of the time is filled with leering strangers, bright lights, and horrific shots of this guy.

Finally, after all the buckling, cinching, leering, bouncing and chafing, Mason falls into a peaceful slumber. Moments later, he is being jostled once again as he makes his way back to the icy carseat. He gives me the stink eye, and, since he is unable to verbalize his aggrevation, he farts!

What Goes Down...

Jen has taken to the malls. I guess this is what SAHMs do all day. Go to malls, feed babies, enjoy the scenic view of Winnebagos roaming the prarie...

A recent visit to the mall procured this delightful video. Enjoy.

B.O. (Blanket Ode)

I love my snuggly blanket.
It keeps me safe and warm.
I like to sleep inside with it,
When, outside, there are storms.

It is so soft and furry.
Feels good upon my skin.
Especially when I'm naked
And it's all I'm sleeping in.

I snuggle in my mommy's lap.
I snuggle on the couch.
I snuggle in my blanket,
While Onyx holds me in his mouth.

I love my snuggly blanket.
I hope to see you soon.
To snuggle up with my blanket,
And snuggle up to you.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

The Big Brown Lawn sees some action, up close and a little too personal!

So who says stay at home moms have a boring life????

Read on!

Yesterday (Jan.10th) I was on the couch feeding Mason when I heard some howling outside. It seemed like a different howl than Onyx's, but seemed to be close, so I checked outside to see if he was hurt. It ended up just being the dog across the street. Onyx was not out front, so I went to see where he was hanging. He was lounging in the side yard in the sun. All was well, so I went back to my oatmeal and Mason went back to his milk.

Moments later, I heard a helicopter and police sirens...ah something going down in "'da heights". Didn't think much of it until the house began to rumble. Now I have felt our 70+ year old, raised foundation house rumble before, but that is usually when the washer is a bit off-balanced, or Josh decides to "test" the "shaky spots" of the floor. This rumbling was sounding and feeling like that helicopter was right on top of us. The curtains were closed so I pulled one back to peek out front. As I glanced out, I saw a motor home slam through our front fence pulling it out into the middle of mild-mannered Leonard Ave. A police car followed and I was so shocked and confused. Why did they just run through our yard, were they drunk or something? They would have had to have really slammed through the fence to be dragging it out into the street behind them.

My first instinct was to jump up and lock the door. Then I thought, oh no, Onyx! As I thought of him he thought of me and came running in as if to tell me, "Come quick, you've gotta see this!" I raced him to the back door to close his dog door and then there was a knock on the front door. It was our neighbor, Julie and her mom warning me that I might want to bring Onyx in. I told her I already had him and she left to see what was up. I waited inside with Mason and watched as the neighbors poured from their houses in pajamas and robes. They were talking outside and pointing at the backyard. I went to the bedroom and looked out to see the backyard fence down. That's when it became clear, "Oh my gosh they drove right through the side yard!"

That rumbling was the motorhome driving by, not the helicopter.

We waited inside to see the police officer get out of his car a couple of houses down stomping up and down as the guy got away and his tire was torn from the fence (Josh and I imagine he will be greeted back at the station with cans of fix-a-flat and a "Nice Work POP-PY" banner hanging in the doorway). I eventually went out to learn that the man driving the RV had made it all the way to the river and was now swimming in it. BRRRRRRRRR!

The day continued on with the man getting caught; officers, neighbors, Onyx, Mason, and I walking the property to survey the damages;

photos were taken, and Channel 13 news knocked on our door for Mason's first television interview.

"We've been looking for your fence all morning," the reporter said.

That's right folks, at just three months, Mason would be on TV at five o'clock that evening. Since he hasn't quite figured out the English language I handled the speaking parts of the interview. I was looking completely glamorous of course, no shower, crazy hair, Josh's sweatshirt (thrown on as I got Onyx's leash to hide the grubby T-shirt I had been in all morning). Luckily they chopped down my rambling to a short tid-bit to add to their story.

I actually haven't seen this bit yet. We don't have cable and I don't usually watch the news, so our cousin Tivo-ed it for us. We were hoping to catch it on the Channel 13 website, but they only posted this noon news report.

  • CBS 13 News

  • KCRA 3 News

  • Family and friends, however, saw it and were more than flattering about my appearence.

    Josh imagines the whole thing to be a little on the trashy side and prefers to imitate me as... breastfeeding mother talkin' 'bout that police chase that just slammed through her yard. I laughed at it all because it just hadn't quite sunk in yet. I was more that grateful that we were safe, the house was safe, and all that was lost was our not so good looking chain link fence. We've talked about one day changing it, we just weren't expecting that day to be so soon.

    Onyx is depressed...his free reign of the yard smashed to a streched pile of chain and bent poles. Today the annoying side of it all arrived. Calls to insurance folk, contractors, and the police department all to find out that the waiting game has begun. The silver lining...I will be getting my exercise as I walk Onyx many times a day with Mason in the Baby Bjorn. Good thing we will be having record breaking low temperatures tomorrow. Sarcasm. Sarcasm. I think we need to invent the indoor dog park. They have indoor soccer, where's the indoor dog park? Good in the hot summer, and cold winter. There it is a great idea...if you steal it from me and make millions just be sure to send us $1,000 of it to cover our deductible.