The first few days of school have been rough. The opposite of what I imagined and looked forward to. This was the first summer since my kids were born that I was somewhat excited to return to school. I still felt a sadness of shortening my weekday family time to the times when we are all exhausted, or rushing to be somewhere on time, but it was paired with inspiration to experience the joys of learning and sharing my teaching. I knew I could enjoy my work day, dive in head first and give all I could to build my classroom community, and come home to embrace the love Mason and Ellie share with me. Instead of a beautiful, graceful dive, I feel as though I have struck the water with such force that I come up gasping for air.
Last weekend, my loving husband planned a most rejuvinating getaway. He told me at dinner that night, "I am glad you are crazy enough to drive 3 hours to buy 5 plants."
I laughed at his humor and knew that the weekend was much more than a drive to get 5 plants. I know he knows it too.
It was about capturing the beauty of life. It didn't matter that the traffic was crazy, we were together. I love my family, my support. Last night Ellie looked up at me and said, "I love you so much Mommy." It is this love that moves me forward and pushes me back out to the edge of that board...I am not giving up. I will dive, I will find that beauty, that grace.