Monday, September 24, 2012

Start somewhere...

So for a while now I have had an abundance of ideas spinning around in my head and a desire to write them, yet somehow when I find the quiet moments in my day to do such things I find myself too tired and/or noodling about reading other blogs and such, that I can't seem to capture the magic and wonder I was thinking. It saddens me a bit to miss those moments and not write them down, yet it is like something I heard once about trying to take a picture, that somehow in that truly magical moment could the picture really capture that feeling of that lump in your throat? When I miss the opportunities to write, I try to hold onto that feeling, relive it in my mind, let it dance and play and stay a while in hopes that even if I can't go back and reread the words I chose to capture it, or gaze at the amateur photo I took, I can call it back to mind again.

We love to buy flowers at the farmer's market.  Ellie insists on putting them in her room.
The past several weeks have been full.  Sometimes overflowing and I just keep taking it in.  We have had some big moments and many little ones that feel just as big.  There have been laughs and tears and missing teeth everything in between.  

I keep reminding myself to observe and observe and try to let things play out before stepping in, and man these two kids of mine have become the best of buds. They are figuring each other out and I think one of my favorite things lately is walking behind them, or hearing them play through the house, or ride in the back seat.  I love when they carry on as though I am not there, allowing me to catch a glimpse of the bond they have. The other day in the car, this annoying song they love was requested and played on and on, and the more it annoys me, the more I love what comes from it all.  It is like at school when kids request one of my least favorites and I play it and end up having such fun watching the joy it brings.  On this particular car ride the song is singing away, "why do I have to have a sister?...." and goes on to talk about a sister being a pest.  Ellie and Mason begin to argue about the word pest and Mason tells her she isn't one, and she argues that she is, and he continues to argue that no she isn't, because a pest is someone you don't like at all and "I love you, Ellie."  

We must endure the annoyances, the things we cannot stand, to uncover the beauty, the rich, pure beauty that is there.  We must let go of our worries that feelings could get hurt, and trust our children to work through and prove us wrong.  Model, model, model the good you hope to see, and then sit back and let them find it within themselves.  I write this for me.  Take it if you wish and run with it, but I warn you it is not an easy task.  You must continue to remind yourself especially when you want to jump in and rescue.  Trust them, though, they will have the power and strength to show you they can be all that you want them to be. And best of all, they will show you who you want to be too. 

There have been many leaps we have taken these past weeks.  Mason is in Kindergarten.  I was so nervous about this one.  I worried about what it would be like.  I worried about how he might miss preschool, but I was viewing it through my own lens and not his.  His lens is not blurred, his is crystal clear.  He sees the joy of learning, the magic of school.  He sees it through the lens that has been built in the most magical place we could have found. 

First day of Kindergarten, my boy is all grown up!
Ellie anxiously awaited her time and it is here.  The girl is a preschooler.  The place is her school now. She is ready to shine!
First day of preschool, yep girl is growing up, too!

First ride on our new bikes!

Chasing bubbles, not the first and definitely not the last.

Silly faces and sideways photo
So with school, comes homework and this week we were given the task of talking about menus and shopping lists and creating some of our own.  Mason insisted this happen on day 1 of the weekly packet, so Friday night we were at the store shopping and then home to create his pancakes.  I stepped back and let it happen.  I gathered supplies and took some photos, worked the hot griddle, but the preparing was all on them.  Ellie insists on doing the homework, too.  She must keep up with her brother, there is nothing she can't do. So there was flour to measure.

And they were off and running with their ingredients.  I didn't help other than to gather what they "needed". 
 And eggs to crack.

Oops cracked the egg into the shell container, good thing we bought a dozen.
And in a bit, pancakes to be eaten.  Model, model, model and step back and watch it happen.  Who says a 3 year old and a 5 year old can't crack eggs and make pancakes from scratch?

Mason and Ellie playing last weekend
As I said before, the photo just can't seem to capture the moment like really being there can.  It can try, but even when I crop out the piles of mess, the view is not the same as the feeling you get when you're around them.