Today at parent-teacher conferences I was told...
...I give too much homework.
...the text books are horrible.
...I speak good Spanish (they were being very kind. I conjugated at least all the verbs incorrectly).
...I am providing a vehicle (knitting) for a woman's son to turn gay.
But enough about my work. You came to hear about Mason (one of my students, the gay one, asked me, "Why is Mason so famous?" I guess he just has that "jue-no-say-quah"). Today was Mason's Due Day. He is now well over 9lbs. Jen sure dodged a bullet there. I can't imagine how red her face would have turned trying to fire out this:
Ok, I guess seeing the dog exiting the birth canal would have been a real shock. Still, there are worse cases. Take, for example, the student in my class whose mother just cranked out baby number 5. It was a girl. A twelve pound girl! Now that is something to talk about! Discuss.
In other news, Mason has once again made waves to impress all the "How-de-doo-dats" out there. His tricks, sorry, illusions, are feats of infant strength and skill. Today, it was The Amazing Head Lift. Where many have tried and failed, Mason rocks the house!
3 comments:
Happy Due Day, Mason. Imagine everything you would have missed if you had allowed yourself to be bound by convention and come out on time. Josh, I hope you continue to be fulfilled by your career of gayifying America, one knitting needle at a time.
Knitting isn't gay, but it is kinda feminine. Knitting is also hard to spell. Happy due day M-Ray! That kid looks exactly like you btw.
Hey Josh- you just keep teaching those kids to knit no matter what. Tell them, (and this is true by the way) that Scottish men in the middle ages were EXPECTED to learn to knit as they had to make their own socks, lest they have nothing to wear! BTW....a BIG little birdie told me that you know how to knit mittens as well, and I'm looking for a good basic mitten pattern. Any chance I could talk you outta one if you have one?
rita.roetker@gmail.com
(AJ's mom)
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