Flying Solo

There are some things that are hard to capture. Perhaps that is why they feel so magical. For if you could capture them, then you would simply have them and there would be no rush of feelings and the strong need for capture. This day began at 4:00. Waking after falling asleep with Ellie so early that when the early hour woke me, I didn't fight it. I crept out into our first rainy, fall morning in hopes of capturing a bit of the magic of a quiet, chilly house that could inspire my soul. Alone time, I was craving it.

I lit candles, brewed coffee, and set up my scene near my bouquet of fall flowers that Mason and Daddy bought me at the Farmer's Market last Saturday. The color is rich, the lighting is amazing, picturesque. I tried to take the photo...perhaps that will be a new learning adventure for me. How do you take such photos? The one I took doesn't include the warmth, the feeling I get when I know that fall is here. As the wind plays the the chimes hanging outside in my tree I will embrace this literal calm before the storm. Inside recess awaits and I will be ready. I will drink in the fall. For now, it will just be in my mind's eye and in my words.

Last night we visited the Whole Foods Hay Maze. After the long day it was another moment to capture. As with most things, it has improved. We try something and then we make it better. This year the maze has the usual hay bales and pumpkins with the added tunnel feature built with pallets, boxes, and lighting. It is the perfect example of nothing going to waste. The pumpkin boxes and pallets were the perfect height for Ellie to run through in her boots and dress, squealing with glee. She invited me in and after a moment of hesitation, I accepted. For after a long day what could be better than a trip through the tunnel? The perfect height for Ellie is a different story for me. I felt like I was filming a scene from Being John Malcovich, but I kept on. I made it the full length with Daddy and Ellie chugging on through behind me. I sat at the end watching Mason bring me tiny pumpkins laughing every time and Ellie running wild. Another moment to capture, but no camera on the scene.

I wish I could transport this maze to school. "Alright things are hitting their limit take a few laps in the maze and then be ready for class." Hmmm, this just might work.

After the maze we headed inside. It was Tuesday and I don't remember the last time we cooked at home on a Tuesday. I don't know what it is about Tuesday, but for us it's been "get out" night. We found our tasty treats and headed for a table. We ate and watched at the kids venture into the play area.



For those of you who have not been to this Whole Foods there is this "Mercado" for kids. In the beginning it was a mini supermarket with books, puzzles, aprons, fully stocked shelves of play foods, blocks, cashier and so on. Over the years many items have vanished as they realized the traffic through the area doesn't lend itself to sustainability. Over time they have replenished with new items, but the one thing that has been there since the beginning are the blocks. This is my favorite part to observe. I have never seen a time when the following was not the case. It is a perfect spot for observing child behavior. Last night it was no different. Ellie was playing in there first with another boy her age. And when I say "with" I mean near. Then Mason began to join them. Ellie had an apron on and was bringing us teacups and Mason was cooking up some soup. Then two older girls, about 7 or 8 years, cruised in and, oh the horror on their faces. "Look at this mess." They immediately began to organize and put away all the blocks, strategically. As they were putting them away the boys were all depleting their supply, removing them as quickly as they could stock the shelves. When the girls took a break for their dessert the shelves were quickly wiped clean. Upon their return the look of shock on their faces set them to work at high speed. They stocked the shelves immediately and Mason strategically set to work on how to sabotage this keen organization. As he came walking to us with a basket of blocks the younger of the two girls stood staring, jaw dropped. I couldn't help, but laugh. Oh honey, it's just the way of the world.

Five years ago I was pregnant, thinking I had at least a month before meeting my son. I was often up at these odd hours, but never blogging for it wasn't until his birth that this blog was born as well. Usually I was walking the house trying to rid my legs of the cramps they would have, reminding me of years of rowing. I imagined it was my body preparing me to take on pain and lack of sleep. I have been feeling the change in season and the excitement that builds as the temperatures drop and the wardrobe begins to change. This morning I searched through the dark for a scarf that would wrap me and keep me warm. As I reflect on these past 5 years, it seems like such a short time, yet so much has changed and grown that it feels like one of the biggest chunks of my story. I would not be who I am today without all those other times, but these years are ones I embrace. Five years ago, I new change was coming, but as Justin Roberts sings, "Oh we never really knew, how much we needed you, until you came into our lives..." I love my Mason. I love how he has changed me, helped me grow to become a mother.

As the seasons change and we take note of change, I fall in love with fall. For it is a time I reflect on this change. I was reading two blogs earlier asking me what it is I love about the fall. At first it is the pumpkins, the carmel apples, the warmth of the colors and cool of the breeze, the scarves, the sweaters, boots and more.

But when I really think about it, I love the fall for that is when I fell in love in a new way. It is rare that I am alone anymore, sometimes a little time flying solo is all you need to remind yourself how you can't imagine your life without everybody else.